Say You Want Me Read online

  Oh boy, I better prepare for the worst, cause I’m in for a long night.

  Camille

  When the doors to the concert hall finally open and we walk into the lobby, I’m surprised by how it looks; it’s actually quite different from what I had expected. Karen and I are among the first people to enter, which puts us up front and really close to the stage. Karen hadn’t lied when she said we needed to be on time, because in the blink of an eye, the concert hall is packed with frantic fans. The electricity in the air rises as the room fills with fans.

  I try my best to calm my nerves, but I hardly succeed. My heart beats in my throat. Everyone’s so closely packed together, and I feel other people pushing against me. Karen reassuringly squeezes my hand every now and then, as if she knows I need that bit of support. When the lights go out, everyone starts to scream at the top of their lungs. The sound is deafening. My entire body trembles with tension.

  By now I’m beginning to doubt whether this was such a good idea, and I turn around to tell Karen I want to go home. I open my mouth to address Karen, but the words never leave my mouth. On stage it’s still dark, but in the background I can hear the sound of a soft drum roll. The tension in the room rises. At the front of the stage, two big smoke guns create a dense fog. Out of this fog appears the singer of Full Moon. If I thought the screams were deafening before, I was wrong: nothing could have prepared me for the shrieks erupting this instant. It seems to be coming from everywhere. I put my hands over my ears and look around me. Everybody’s screaming, shouting at the top of their lungs, ecstatic.

  Things are being thrown onto the stage: stuffed animals, letters—I think I even see a bra flying toward the stage. The singer is clearly used to it, because he’s laughing at the whole thing. Despite my awkwardness, I’m immediately drawn into the rhythm of the music, and I follow Karen's example and start dancing.

  When the first song is over, the singer takes the time to introduce all of the band members. He starts with Jonathan. The spotlight illuminates him, and he starts playing a fantastic drum solo. My eyes are immediately drawn to him, and a strange sensation nestles in my gut. This muscular guy seems to be oblivious to his surroundings. He’s so absorbed in his solo it seems like he's forgotten everything and everyone around him.

  His muscles move smoothly as he slams the drumsticks onto his drum set. His skin is covered with a thin layer of sweat. His face is mostly hidden under a cap. Here and there, on either side of his cap, some brown spikes of hair peep out.

  “May I introduce you to our amazing, unprecedented, most amazing drummer, Jonathan: also known as Sticks!”

  I didn’t think it was possible, but all the women in the room start to scream even more loudly than before. Here and there some women holler indecent proposals at him. When I give him another once-over, I understand — who could blame them? He is by far the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on. Of course, I’ve seen a couple of movies with handsome actors, but none of them compete with this rough diamond. He has something mysterious about him. Something that draws me to him. All the other introductions are lost on me. I keep staring at Jonathan. I can’t believe that after all these years, I’m this close to him and yet so far. And even though he no longer resembles the boy next door I used to know, the feeling that builds in my stomach is one I know all too well.

  * * *

  The whole concert is over in a flash. I try to take in every detail, but there are so many things happening all at once that it’s nearly impossible. It’s not until after the second encore that the band finally goes off stage. Karen and I wait patiently to leave the concert hall.

  When we finally reach the exit, I take a deep breath. The adrenaline of the whole night slowly starts to drain away. I think I still need some time to recover from all the sensations. Karen comes to stand next to me and pulls me closer for a hug.

  “I’m so proud of you.”

  There’s no one that knows me better than Karen. For most of the people here, this is just another Saturday night out. But for me this is a big change. It’s the very first time I did something behind my father’s back. To be completely honest, I’m still scared he’s going to find out someday. I don’t think he’ll ever let me leave the house if he does.

  As the adrenalin finally subsides, I pull out of our embrace and look at Karen. “I have to go to the restroom…really bad.”

  Karen looks at me doubtfully.

  “Are you sure you can’t wait until we get home? The wait in line is going to be crazy.”

  “I’m absolutely sure.”

  “Okay, then let’s look for an alternative.”

  Karen takes me by the hand and starts trotting down the corridors like a madwoman. There are hardly any people left, since most of them left right after the concert. Karen pulls me from one corridor to the next, and I’m starting to wonder what she’s up to. We get to a narrow passage, and when I look more closely, I see this is the backstage area.

  “Karen, I don’t think we’re supposed to be here.”

  “Ssh, trust me on this one.”

  At the entrance of the backstage area, a security guard is posted. He looks dangerous and kind of terrifying, and I realize he’ll never let us through. Just when I think he’ll tell us we need to leave, I see a smile tugging at his lips.

  “Karen! Long time, no see.”

  Karen runs to him and gives him a hug. Without any effort he lifts her off the ground and brings her up to eye level.

  “I didn’t know you were coming to the concert today. I would have given you better tickets.”

  Karen gives him a beautiful smile, and I suddenly suspect there’s more going on between them.

  “Mike, you know I’d never use you like that. But I do have an emergency on my hands. Can you help me?”

  “As long as you don’t ask me to meet the band, then we’ve got a deal.”

  “My friend over here really needs the restroom. The line at the ladies’ is extremely long.” With her most seductive smile, she looks up at him. “Can she use the bathroom backstage?”

  Mike looks around to make sure we’re alone.

  “I can get into trouble for that. No one is allowed backstage. I’m sorry, babe.”

  Karen also looks around and gets a little closer to him. She takes him by his T-shirt and pulls him down so her mouth is at his ear. She whispers something to him, but I can’t understand what she’s saying. The grin that appears on Mike’s lips leaves little to the imagination. He looks around one final time, then opens the door. Behind the door there’s a corridor with doors on either side.

  I look at Karen, confused; she acts like I need to understand what has happened in the last five minutes. How does she even know this guy? And why have I never heard of him before? And above all: what has she just promised to him that he’s willing to take the risk? She grabs my hand and makes sure we don’t lose sight of Mike. We get to the end of the corridor, with one door on the left and one in front of us.

  The door in front of us is closed, but you can clearly hear there’s a party going on behind it. Is that where the band is? Are they having an after party? I can’t believe they’d have the energy to throw a party after that concert. Aren’t they tired? I must have drifted off in thought, because the next thing I see is Karen, waving her hands in front of me.

  “Didn’t you need the bathroom?”

  “Yes, of course. This’ll only take a minute.”

  I open the door and walk inside. Even though Mike and Karen are waiting in front of the door, I still lock it behind me. A girl shouldn’t allow for someone to enter the bathroom when she’s using it.

  When I’m done, I quickly wash my hands. Because of the music coming from the room next door, the tiny space seems to vibrate. God, I long for my bed and for peace and quiet. This night has been so filled with new emotions I never experienced before that I’m suddenly exhausted. I just want to go home and let everything sink in.

  When I try to open the lock to the bathroom
, the little lock breaks. There I am, holding a piece of it in my hand.

  Fuck!

  “Karen, I seem to be having a little problem.”

  On the other side of the door, there’s complete silence. Maybe they didn’t hear me because of the noise at the party backstage.

  “Karen?” I yell, louder this time.

  Still no answer.

  “Karen!”

  I knock at the door a few times, but no one answers. The only thing I hear is the music from the room next door. Cold sweat starts to break out on my forehead when I realize Karen isn’t waiting on the other side of the door. Alarm bells start to go off in my head. I knew there was something going on between her and Mike, but how did she think that it would be a good idea to leave me here, alone? She knows this is all so new to me.

  Like a maniac, I start to bang on the door. The room is small and it feels as if the walls are closing in on me. I’m not claustrophobic, but this space is starting to feel really, really cramped. I’m in a place where no one knows me. The only thing I can do is make as much noise as I can and pray for someone to pass by and hear me.

  “Karen, Mike, anyone…!”

  When there’s absolutely no response, I decide to make even more noise. With both of my fists, I start banging on the door as loud and hard as I can.

  “Heeeeeeeelp! I’m trapped inside the bathroom!”

  My breathing accelerates and my head starts to spin. I decide to throw all my weight against the door and try to break it open. I move over to the opposite wall and gear up for my full-frontal attack. But just before I slam into the door, it swings open and I fly against a solid, muscular chest. Because of the shock I fall backward, but two strong arms prevent me from crashing down onto the floor.

  Only a few inches from the ground, I hang there, suspended. I’m so confused by everything that I closed my eyes for a second. When I open them again, I’m looking up into a pair of intense — and familiar-looking — green eyes. I close my eyes once again.

  This can’t be happening. I must be dreaming.

  Jonathan

  The concert is over and I’m sitting on the sofa in the common room, enjoying my beer. Music is blasting through the speakers, and to be honest I’m only here because they expect me to be. I’m in desperate need of some rest. I want my bed. When you’ve been on tour for a while, the long nights start to weigh on you. Every muscle in my body hurts and I just want to go to sleep.

  I’m just taking another swig of my beer when I first hear the sound. Strange — everyone’s here and the only other person who can be out in the hallway is Mike. Let’s hope it’s not a problem with some obsessive fan. Also, let’s hope that Sofia finally got the message and doesn’t return.

  I decide that I probably heard it wrong and stay put. The other band members each brought a girl backstage. When I look around, there’s a lot of one-on-one action going on in here. Max is already kissing his blonde girl for the night, and John is getting comfortable with a redhead. Tim is standing on the side, staring at a blonde who is flitting around near John. Normally I’d be just as distracted as they are, but after that whole scene with Sofia, I’m just not in the right mood to be chasing after one of our fans. They always say they understand that I’m not looking for a relationship, until I try to get them to leave after the sex. Then all of a sudden they want more; they want to get to know “the real” Jonathan. I learned my lesson — for now — so no more one-night stands for me for a while.

  The knocking sound coming through the wall next to me keeps up, and because no one else seems to notice anything, I decide to check it out. If it does turn out to be Sofia, it may be for the best if I find her instead of someone else. They’ve already made enough jokes at my expense for a while, because of her.

  I open the door and step into the hallway, but there’s no one there. I close the door behind me — maybe if there’s less noise from the party, I can hear where the sound is coming from.

  “Heeeeeeeelp! I’m trapped inside the bathroom!”

  The noise is coming from the restrooms, but I don’t recognize the voice. The girl trapped inside is clearly getting desperate; I can hear her pounding on the door with her fists. I dig up a coin from my pocket and use it to turn the lock on the outside. I open the door, and a black-haired girl comes flying at me. She slams into me, and by the force of our collision she drops backward. I grab her by the arms to prevent her from falling.

  Her eyes focus on me, and I take a good look at her. She’s gorgeous. I suspect she’s in her early twenties. Her long, black hair strongly contrasts with her pale skin. I can't resist the temptation, and I stroke a lock of hair out of her face.

  Her long, thick eyelashes blink rapidly and reveal the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. Almost bright turquoise close to her pupils, but then the color fades to a darker blue on the edge of the irises. I didn’t know it was possible for one pair of eyes to contain so many different shades of blue. When I look at her face more closely, I’m shocked. It’s the girl from before. The girl who was waiting outside for the concert to start.

  My God, she was pretty from a distance, but now that she’s here in my arms, she’s truly stunning. She looks very different from the girls I usually hang out with. As soon as her gaze lands on me, she closes her eyes again.

  I chuckle.

  It doesn’t happen every day that you land in the arms of a famous rock star. I like the fact that I have the same effect on her as she has on me. I pull her closer, and she gasps, which makes me pull her even more tightly to me.

  “Are you okay?”

  She reopens her eyes cautiously, and with those deep blue eyes she looks up at me.

  “Yes, I, eh… well, I…”

  She bites her lower lip in that sensual way women do. Because of that gesture, I know she’s thinking something else than what she’s about to tell me. She swallows and tries to sort out her feelings. I can’t stop myself — I lift her chin up with my index finger and look into her sparkling eyes. Those are the most stunning blue eyes I’ve ever seen. Her eyes glass over with desire, and a small gasp escapes from her lips.

  She keeps watching me with that innocent look on her face. It feels like she’s taking in every small detail of my face. I enjoy her inquisitive gaze and take my time to do the same. I take in every sexy detail of her. I enjoy the feeling of her this close to me.

  I can’t think clearly with her in my arms. All I can think about is tasting her lips. I’m sure this image will haunt me for days. I move my head closer to her, and I feel her hands clawing at my shirt.

  Squeeze all you want, sugar, I’m not letting you go before I’ve tasted your lips.

  My lips are inches away from touching hers when the door to Mike’s dressing room flies open. The man himself and some blonde chick enter the hallway, and by the look on Mike’s face I can tell they had a great time together. Their timing couldn’t be worse.

  “Camille, are you okay?” the blonde asks worriedly.

  Wait! Her name is Camille?

  My vision moves from the blonde chick back to Camille. Could this be the Camille who used to live next door? Didn’t she used to have blonde hair? I take another good look, but this girl doesn’t remind me of my neighbor girl. Who am I kidding, this girl can’t be her—I’d recognize her if she was, right? My mind must be playing tricks on me. This just happens to be another girl named Camille. I’m sure she’s not the only one with that name. Just because that’s her name doesn’t mean she’s the girl who lived next to me.

  “Yes, I was locked inside the bathroom,” she mumbles. “He, eh…he caught me before I fell.”

  The blonde girl looks at me, and a smile appears on her face. She holds out her hand.

  “Hi, I’m Karen, Camille’s best friend.”

  Absently I shake her hand. “I’m Jonathan, the drummer of Full Moon.”

  Karen laughs teasingly. “Of course I know who you are.”

  Camille scrambles up into a standing position again, and
reluctantly I let go of her. When she’s up on her feet, she takes a step backward and turns to Karen.

  “Can we go home, please?”

  Why is she so anxious to leave? Maybe I should invite her to come with me to the party backstage. I gently put my hand on her arm and feel how she stiffens under my touch. Shocked, she pulls her arm back. I decide that a little humor never killed anyone.

  “Oh, come on. Don’t I deserve a thank you for my courageous rescue mission earlier?”

  She looks at me, and I stare right back at her. I see fear in her eyes.

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I don’t want to keep you from the backstage party any longer.”

  “Baby, I’m sure it’ll be the best party you’ve ever been to.”

  She looks at her friend then at me. I can see her friend is practically begging her to stay.

  That’s right, little one: you don’t get chances like this every day.

  Just when I think I’ve convinced her, she grabs her friend’s hand and starts walking down the hallway, leaving Mike and me stunned.

  “I don’t think that has ever happened,” Mike laughs.

  “What?”

  “I think that was the first time a girl refused to go to a backstage party with you, just now.” He grins.

  What else can I do but smile? “There has to be a first time for everything, right?”

  Mike goes back to the entrance, and I return to the party. I take a seat on the same sofa, but my thoughts are with a beautiful, black-haired lady. That look in her eyes, when I touched her arm — it won’t let go of me. I have this feeling that something special is going on between us. There’s only one way to find out. I have to see her again. I have no idea how to make that happen, but I’m sure I’ll figure something out.

  Camille

  Slowly, I open my eyes. I look around me and realize I’m not in my own bed. I look at the wall beside me and see the poster of Full Moon. That reminds me of where I am. Images of last night flash before my eyes. The bathroom, the locked door, Jonathan’s hard body, the way I bumped into him, and his strong arms that caught me.